“My Boss Likes Me But Ignores Me” You’ve recently noticed that although your boss likes you, he avoids and ignores you. He has consistently been extremely hospitable to you, so you are baffled as to why.
It’s unpleasant when your boss ignores or disrespects you, but over time, it can have a negative effect on your job, self-esteem, and mental health. What should you do, then, if you believe your boss is ignoring you and disregarding your suggestions, especially if the change is abrupt?
According to more research, most workers place a higher value on respect than opportunities for learning and development, appreciation, recognition, or even receiving feedback.
The Silent Treatment: What Is It?
When someone is given the silent treatment, verbal communication is refused and they are treated as though they are not there. Bullies at work use the silent treatment to avoid talking to their targets, ignore their input during meetings, avoid answering questions, and delete emails. Bullies can be coworkers or a boss.
Are Silent Treatment Practices Manipulations?
When someone wants to pressure you to change a quality about yourself that they do not like, the silent treatment could be a form of manipulation. Passive aggressive language is used to intimidate you instead of speaking directly to you. The people who are engaging in the behavior are in a stronger position since only they can decide when and if to win you back.
Another form of emotional abuse is the silent treatment. The prolonged use of silence to harm, discipline, or degrade another person is abusive. Abuseful coworkers foster a hostile work environment in the workplace.
What Being Ignored Means
The greatest insult is to be ignored because it implies that the other person isn’t even worth a conversation or your time. In high school, the in-group that was considered cool avoided the out-group to emphasize their superiority. Unfortunately, such haughty and immature conduct also shows up at work.
It’s possible that you broke some unwritten rule of the organization you work in if so many than one individual bluntly ignores you. Your boss may be trying to let you know why they don’t like you by giving you the silent treatment. Maybe your coworkers are annoyed by the fact that you never rotate who brings cupcakes to the office. Additionally, if they’re on a diet, they might be annoyed that you brought cupcakes to share. Trying to deal with the silent treatment can be perplexing and frustrating if you’re not a mind reader.
Signs Your Boss Likes You But Ignores It
It’s necessary to get along well with your boss. It’s necessary to get along well with one another and gain each other’s respect and trust.
However, some supervisors are less gushing than others. What should you do if your supervisor doesn’t tell you how she feels about you?
Here are several signs that your boss likes you even though he doesn’t express it often.
- You Identify Priorities Every Time
You’ll be able to work more efficiently and determine whether you are pursuing the same goals if you are aware of your boss’s top objectives. Maintain this line of communication, and be certain to participate in the initiatives that fit these priorities. fastest approach to win your boss’s affection!
- Only Tough Love Will Do
It’s actually a positive indicator if your supervisor provides you a lot of input, most of which is unfavorable. He cares about your growth and respects you enough to offer you the feedback you need to get better. Additionally, he believes you can take the criticism with grace. So, take it in stride and keep getting better.
- You Are The Expert.
Are you the first call for your boss? The first person he calls when a fire has to be put out or anything urgent or vital needs to be done? Being the go-to person indicates that your manager holds you in high regard.
- You Experience Respect
Actually, it doesn’t matter if your supervisor approves of you. Respect is all that matters. You don’t have to get mani-pedis or host cookouts, but if you can see that your employer values, seeks out, and pays attention to your ideas especially on significant issues and projects? That is far more valuable than simply being friends.
- You Face Obstacles Everyday
Does your boss offer you more work than you feel you can handle? Perhaps she assigns you challenging tasks to nurture you or test you. Although it could seem a little overwhelming, this is typically a really positive indicator.
- Your Obligations Keep Growing.
Your amount of responsibility is continuously increasing by your supervisor. With staff members he didn’t trust or believe were capable of the job, they would not do this. Please accept my compliment, and keep up the wonderful work.
- You Almost Never Receive Compliments (Yes, this is Good!)
The greatest employees aren’t constantly showered with praise from managers; instead, they prefer to utilize praise as a motivating factor for others who perform less well. It doesn’t matter if your supervisor doesn’t give you frequent compliments if you know what is required of you and are keeping track of how you are doing in that area. Do you receive genuine compliments during important occasions? All that matters is that. Your manager doesn’t believe you require a daily reminder of your status.
- Your Opinion Is Important
Your supervisor solicits your views frequently. In team meetings and one-on-ones, you are invited in. You’re in great condition if your supervisor places this kind of trust in you.
- You’re Frequently Used as an Example
If a fellow worker is having difficulty, has a problem, or need assistance with a challenging assignment, and your employer sends them to you? Or are you singled out as a model of excellence for the rest of your team to follow?
- You’re Not Ignored
Even if you may not be best friends at happy hour, your employer makes an effort to check in with you occasionally to gauge your level of job satisfaction and ensure that he is not in any danger of losing you. That’s a fantastic indication of just how much you are appreciated.
- You’re Trusted with the Moneymakers
You are inserted into the game when the stakes are high. Your employer approaches you when a significant project or client comes up. This is a huge gesture of trust, and you should be proud of it.
How To React If Your Boss Ignores You
Push Your Thinking To The Limit.
Before you draw any firm conclusions about your boss’s behavior (such as “They really don’t like me anymore”), consider whether their behavior toward you has remained constant over time or if it has recently switched. There might be instances when your boss pays you less attention and spends less time in person with you for motives that have nothing to do with you or your relationship with them.
Challenge any presumptions you may have and ask yourself if your perspective is supported by any reliable data.
- Don’t Presume To Know What Your Boss Wants.
It is simple to assume that your boss is acting insensitively toward you when, in reality, there may be no connection at all. It may be that they are finding it difficult to manage their growing workload or the intense pressures they are under from their boss. They might be pressed for time and want to finish things right away. They might also be going through a personal crisis.
Give them the benefit of the uncertainty before jumping to conclusions and consider these things:
- Has my boss at the time received a large task while they already have way too much to handle?
- Do they have an unmanageable workload that requires them to put in such long hours?
- Do they work for a new boss who might be troublesome?
- Have they been given too much responsibility and inadequate resources?
- They might be having problems at home, is that possible?
- Switch The Lens.
After letting go of your preconceived notions about your boss’s actions, turn the situation around and think about how you might portray their behavior if you presumed they were trying their hardest. “People must ask themselves what constraints must be in place before they can be generous with their presumptions about the motives, utterances, and behavior of others. Only then can the assumption of good intent be sustained.
Perhaps your boss didn’t purposely reject your concept, but the manner you presented it fell short of your colleague’s in terms of effectiveness or clarity. Ask about it in your subsequent one-on-one conversation. “I want to improve how I present my ideas during meetings,” you could say. What would you advise that I do to improve? Is there anything I should do differently, please?
Using this strategy does not imply that bullying or intimidating behavior is acceptable. It does, however, give you the chance to examine your boss’s actions and think of other possible explanations for them.
Start Up A Conversation.
Direct action is sometimes the best course of action. Because you can’t see the other person, detect their nonverbal interactions, or hear their tone when sending an email, for instance, it’s easy to misinterpret what they’re saying. The best way to discuss sensitive topics is in person (or on a video call). Keep your integrity and values intact, and approach your boss to discuss their treatment of you.
- Make An Effort.
It takes bravery to engage in conversation with someone you are subordinate to. Positional power is held by your boss. Their position in the organizational structure confers them with the authority and power to make these decisions. For this discussion, you’ll need to rely on your inner strength. By keeping quiet, you allow the relationship’s already unbalanced power dynamics which are a result of their authority to worsen.
It is simpler to challenge presumptions, act cooperatively, and make more intelligent and thoughtful decisions when power is more evenly distributed and everyone feels comfortable speaking up and sharing ideas.
- Asking Shouldn’t Be Delayed For Too Long.
On the surface, it might seem simpler to avoid having this kind of conversation, but my experience has shown that avoiding it is ineffective. It is frequently harder to resolve the underlying problem when you wait too long to take action. You forfeit the chance to improve and solidify your relationship with your boss by avoiding the conversation. That you started a conversation is something that good leaders will value. Additionally, by talking to them, you’ll gain more clarity on their expectations and might discover that some of your presumptions about the disposition of your relationship are incorrect.
- Become Ready.
The Stoic technique of “Premeditation of Evils” or the art of negative visualization will help if the thought of speaking with your boss makes you cringe. It functions as follows. Ask yourself, “I want to feel valued and heard in team meetings,” as an example of what you truly desire. Then, consider the scenario that would result from taking that action in its worst-case scenario.
- What is the worst that could occur if you attempt to reach your boss to have a conversation? They respond negatively.
- If you have the discussion and your boss doesn’t share your viewpoint, what is the worst that can happen? They don’t agree with you, and the connection remains the same.
Attempt To Mend The Relationship.
After some preparation, consider how you’ll repair what appears to be broken. Prepare for your conversation with your supervisor and think through how you may better present yourself and your work.
- Talk To Each Other.
Don’t bring up your connection with your employer at work during this conversation. You may say something like, “I would be happy to discuss what additional services you need from me, and I would like to contribute as much value as possible to the work I do.” I hope we can discuss the best way for us to work together.” An effective leader won’t likely turn down such a request. Once they appear willing to proceed, express your appreciation for their leadership and your desire to find further opportunities to participate. This is the moment to discuss your feelings from the previous week (s). You could say,
The concept I offered at the meeting last week excited me, but I didn’t think you shared my enthusiasm. Could I have presented it in any other way? Please give me some tips on how I can get better.
If, by chance, your supervisor rejects your request or appears unresponsive during your meeting, consider whether you spoke to them at the appropriate time. At least you now have a clear idea of the kind of boss they are and whether you’d like to work for them if they aren’t open to having a talk with you at any moment.
- Seek Out Opportunities To Draw Attention To Oneself.
After talking to your manager about it, keep looking for chances to sell yourself and establish your visibility.
The dynamics of the workplace have changed as a result of many of us working from home, and you might notice that you spend less time in person with your supervisor. Be proactive instead of waiting for your supervisor to strike up a conversation. Establish weekly meetings with them, send them emails with status updates about your progress, and when necessary, pick up the phone and contact them instead of emailing them. Be present, on time, attentive, engaged, and curious in every interaction.
Every time you have a boss, there is constantly a potential that you will feel like “my boss likes me but ignores me,” or that they might like you but aren’t showing it. Although this can be unpleasant, there are indicators that you can check for to determine whether your boss likes you.
They want to visit you after hours. They come up with a reason not to visit you at work. They go over and above to streamline your work.
There are a variety of explanations as to why your boss may not be gushing over how wonderful you are. Perhaps they are a quiet person who tries to keep their personal and professional lives apart, or perhaps they are simply too busy to constantly brag about how fantastic they are. Another possibility is that he or she actually likes you but doesn’t want it to be known for a variety of reasons.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How Can You Tell If Your Boss Values You?
- When your supervisor takes the time to hear everything you have to say and genuinely listens, you know they care about you. They aren’t only waiting for the opportunity to start talking about themselves or resume their jobs. They want to know about your work, but they also want to know how it affects you and the way it makes you feel. And they demonstrate their concern for you by supporting you when something goes wrong, even though it has nothing to do with your position or their division.
How Can You Tell If Your Boss Likes You Secretly?
- If you have ever worked a position where you weren’t sure whether your supervisor liked you, you likely sought to monitor the situation. Perhaps you sought their opinion or observed their body language for cues. Observing how your employer interacts with other people can help you determine whether they have positive feelings for you. If someone is friendly to everyone, it’s probably because they’re being polite and don’t actually care about anyone in particular. But the ones kids like best are usually the ones who are very sensitive and kind to them.