Introduction
When resigning from a narcissistic boss, you should have a plan in place before acting. If you need a reference from your employer, you might try to capitalize on their narcissism, but in actuality, you might not. You should nevertheless present your resignation with composure and conviction.
If you work for a narcissist boss, you are aware of how rigid, demanding, and critical they can be. Many employees who have such a boss decide to look for work elsewhere. They are in a challenging situation because narcissistic employers are famously unpredictable. It can be very difficult to let them know if you need a letter of recommendation from them to secure your new job. Resigning from a narcissist boss is challenging in large part because of this.
If your boss is a narcissist, you need to carefully consider your options for leaving. It is essential to approach this with a plan in mind if you want things to go smoothly and if you want to stand a chance of receiving a positive reference from your toxic boss. Continue reading to find out more about the things you should consider before resigning from a narcissist boss.
Resigning From A Narcissist Boss
You may be working with a narcissist if you have a demanding employer who lacks compassion for others and can’t take criticism. You might be asking how to leave a narcissistic boss because of the difficulties that come along with it.
Although narcissism is a real psychological condition that has to be diagnosed, it might be challenging to control the qualities at work. Maybe your supervisor is always looking for praise. Perhaps they don’t show much regard for others.
Consider a manager that intimidates and mistreats staff during meetings. In front of their coworkers, they make fun of the employee and exhort others to join in the assault. The boss presents himself as a unique individual whose opinions are more valuable than everyone else’s.
These are troubling habits that point to narcissistic tendencies even if they are untreated. Is my narcissistic employer attempting to terminate me? you may be wondering.
Although you are prepared to quit this poisonous environment, you are unsure of how to do so safely. You are concerned and confused about how to leave a narcissistic employer.
While having a lousy boss is not our responsibility, continuing to work for one is. Remember, you’ll bounce back and get well, but that narcissist and the organization that employs them will continue to harm you.
The good news is that you are quitting your job just as a lot of other employees are doing the same. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2022 saw a record amount of people leave their jobs. A record 4.5 million workers quit their jobs in April.
However, you don’t want anything getting in the way of you getting other work after you depart. Here are some suggestions on resigning from a narcissist boss now that you have chosen the proper choice.
10 Ways Of Resigning From A Narcissist Boss
- Before You Resign, Make Sure You Have A Job.
You are likely aware of your boss’ narcissism. If your employer has narcissistic tendencies, you should plan to leave the company eventually. It will probably be quite challenging to receive a strong recommendation from your narcissist boss when you’re ready. Even worse, you might not even be aware of what they say about you. You might not succeed in landing the job you’re after. Because of this, it’s a good idea to start working before you resign.
If at all feasible, request a recommendation from someone other than your narcissistic employer, or better yet, have a position lined up before you present your resignation. The world is seen as a reflection of themselves by narcissists.
Your narcissistic boss may see your resignation negatively. They’ll interpret that as a critique of them. They might worry that their managers would perceive it as a sign that they are a poor leader.
However, if you have to rely on a narcissistic boss for a recommendation, they are likely to hinder your attempts to get new employment. They feel a sense of authority knowing that you require their advice, and they also don’t want anyone to think they did anything wrong. Because of this, it’s preferable to apply for jobs without their endorsement, if at all feasible.
- Be Strategic And Cautious.
It’s different from how you would resign from a supervisor who is not egotistical. They won’t react to your departure the way other employers may. They might become enraged, accusing, or even try to belittle you.
Therefore, everything you do is intended to ensure a smooth exit. You need to be smart and thoughtful because you need to consider that a genuine narcissist employer will have the following characteristics:
- They are not interested in learning the truth, specifically if it is unfavorable. Telling them the truth about why you’re going will make them react adversely because they dislike themselves.
- They are incapable of understanding what morals or ethics are. Do not think that guilt or social pressure will have an impact on their behavior.
- They think getting payback is necessary. They will become fixated on retaliating against you in every manner possible if they believe that you will belittle them.
- Appeal to Your Boss’s Narcissism
You may try to play on your boss’ narcissism if you absolutely must obtain that recommendation. That might be effective since narcissists enjoy having their egos stroked.
It might be appropriate to use language like, “You have taught me so much, and I feel as though you have truly prepared me to make the next move in my profession,” may be a good starting point. Let them express your gratitude for everything they’ve taught you and how you sincerely hope your new job will allow you to do so.
You should thank them for sharing their knowledge with you and emphasize that you could not have gotten it from anybody else. Give them the impression that you are continuing their legacy.
You might be able to acquire the positive recommendation you deserve by playing to their ego, but take care it doesn’t backfire. They’ll try to talk you out of going, but you’ll be adamant about your choice. Be ready for practically any response since they could also explode in narcissistic rage.
- Never Use Truth To Justify Anything
Now that you are aware that narcissists behave differently from other people, you need to factor this into your escape strategy. In other words, you should lie about your reasons for leaving as soon as possible. Telling your narcissist boss that they are the reason you are leaving won’t help.
Inform your employer that a family member’s death requires you to relocate to a different area of the country. You might explain to them that while it is not what you’d prefer to do, you must still carry it out. Make it known to them that you think they are a great mentor and a good boss.
You are aware that this is untrue, of course. But to prevent the narcissist from making your leaving uncomfortable and possibly difficult, you are neutralizing them.
- Get Everything In Order.
Leaderless narcissists are a well-known problem. When you inform your narcissistic boss that you are leaving, you should be prepared for practically anything by having any evidence of inappropriate behavior. You should have documentation of how they handled you because you cannot predict how things will turn out.
As soon as you decide to hunt for new employment, begin gathering proof of any discriminatory practices by your narcissist boss. It is a wise move even if you are staying. The more you can gather, the higher chance you have of maintaining good relations with them during this process.
Since they care about their reputation, narcissists frequently advance to positions of authority in a business. They will be very reluctant to cause issues if you have proof that could contradict that impression.
They experienced a significant difference in those final two weeks of their employment because they had proof. If they start being abusive, you don’t threaten to use this evidence, but possessing it could be crucial to a smooth exit.
- Take Prompt And Decisive Action.
Tell your narcissist boss that you must leave right away after giving them a reason. Inform them that you need to take care of family and personal problems. Tell them you’re uncomfortable talking about it if they ask for further information.
Inform them that you will clear your desk and be available to your colleagues to discuss any tasks that need to be turned in. Do not discuss your departure with coworkers. Even if they had previously concurred that your supervisor is challenging, they can have unfavorable things to say about you after you go.
- Keep Others Updated by Writing a Letter
Another effective method for leaving a narcissistic boss is to write a succinct resignation letter. Even if this isn’t the only manner you submit your resignation, it might be a crucial tactic to prevent your supervisor from losing it.
Include your HR department in any letters you write. You might be able to prevent your narcissistic employer from mistreating you throughout the transition by telling HR of your intentions because it’s easier to regulate a narcissistic boss’s attitude while other people are looking.
Keep the letter to a minimum, and refrain from criticizing your narcissist boss. They’ll do all in their power to get you back if you turn yourself into their adversary. You won’t be forced to put up with them for much longer, so it’s best to keep your mouth shut than to speak up and cause more issues for yourself.
Leave it at that; just let them know that you and your employer disagree on how some things ought to be handled. Even while you might feel temporarily satisfied after defeating a narcissist, in the long term, you’ll cause more problems for yourself.
- When Discussing Your Resignation, Maintain Composure While Being Forceful.
After you inform your supervisor that you are leaving, the dialogue will probably get confrontational. Just be mindful to maintain your composure and establish clear boundaries. After stating your intentions, the wisest course of action is to simply say very little.
Refrain from falling for your boss’ angry bait. Never apologize for your predicament. Allow your supervisor to talk as much as they want while apologizing because there isn’t anything you can do.
Your manager might offer promises about increased compensation, remote work opportunities, or even a promotion. Keep in mind that they will take any measure necessary to convince you to stay. You simply need to stay focused on leaving the situation with the least amount of turmoil.
- Strictly Adhere To Your Company’s Policy
Additionally, you should strictly adhere to your company’s notice-giving procedures. You don’t want this transition to damage your reputation. That might follow you to new positions. Make sure to provide two weeks’ notice if your workplace requires it. You want to maintain the business and your narcissist boss as references in case you ever need them.
Any company’s executives converse with one another and share information on workers they believe mistreated them. Even though it’s difficult, it’s best to keep your true view within yourself so that your employer can’t harm your prospects for the future.
You should be aware that you could need to utilize this business in the future as a reference. When you may have to at least count on them to accurately report your accomplishment to anyone who may inquire, you don’t.
Before you go, make sure to complete whatever tasks your employer has asked of you. This demonstrates that you are competent and are not prone to acting hastily. Additionally, it demonstrates that you appreciate your business even if you don’t respect your egotistical boss.
- Keep The Boss Of Your Narcissist Boss Informed
Keeping your employer’s boss informed of your plans is also crucial. By acting professionally, you can probably stop your narcissistic boss’s retaliatory actions. You can add your boss’ boss to the list of people you should notify when you give notice, along with your boss and the HR department. This keeps them informed and demonstrates your intent to follow protocol when you go.
You must keep in mind that business executives are focused on their bottom line. They want assurances that any changes will be easy and trouble-free. If you cause issues, you turn into that dissatisfied worker.
Then, it’s less likely that you will be believed if you need to eventually inform someone about your narcissistic boss’s abusive behavior. Your narcissistic supervisor will find it simpler to portray you as a problematic worker.
Your career may suffer significantly as a result of this. Even if you already have a job put in place, you can have trouble in the future, if you need to, finding alternative work. You don’t want to cause that for yourself because of a selfish employer.
How To Write A Resignation Letter For A Narcissist Boss
When you inform your manager that you will be leaving your position, you should draft a succinct resignation letter. A very concise resignation letter should only include the essentials. Just include the date of your final day of work and a brief line thanking the company for the chance.
Include a copy of your resignation letter to the director or department of human resources if your organization has one. Do not include any criticism of your manager in the letter. Do not go into depth about your reasons for leaving if your HR director asks for an exit interview.
Conclusion
Unbelievably, resigning from a narcissist boss can be one of the hardest career decisions you’ll ever have to make. But it’s probably also among the best. Your life will be spent working for narcissistic employers who never acknowledge your contributions.
In addition, they will steal your concepts and obstruct your advancement. However, you’ll need to develop a strategy and give it some serious thought before you submit your notice.
Your narcissist boss will do all in their power to provoke you, including leveraging your feelings against you, so no matter how effectively you execute your departure plan, you will probably still experience devaluation.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How Do You Leave A Job Where The Boss Is Narcissistic?
- If the narcissistic boss asks you for specifics, you must deny and state that you do not feel comfortable sharing the truth. You can quit the narcissist boss by explaining to him that you must travel to another nation due to a family matter.
What Format Should A Resignation Letter To A Narcissistic Boss Follow?
- The most important stage in obtaining a resignation is this one. You must state in your letter that you must quit due to a family matter. Write about the last day you worked there and avoid writing anything that might make your manager furious.
You can also read, “Writing A Resignation Letter Due To Bullying“
